And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
