It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Drunk walkin through police station. America
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
