Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize