sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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