O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
