how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
