I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is my gift to your gina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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