How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
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he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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