You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
