So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Enjoy the penises
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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