I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
