there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
there is glitter all over my balls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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