Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
