He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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