He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Never underestimate the power of titties
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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