I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just cropdusted the office
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
