I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize