I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
