this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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