I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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