plz talk dirty to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
