Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
