If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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