butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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