if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
