lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
