I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize