Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
