you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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