my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
