D3 body, D1 cock
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
one might say we're banned from that church
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
