do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
