The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
