this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
