Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize