so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
