Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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