his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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