So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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