I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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