Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize