What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
