He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
