hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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