Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
