i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pants are for mortals
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
