There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
