Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
