Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
my god I love twenty year old dicks
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
