I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
