If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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