we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize