what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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