I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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