I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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