I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
