Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
