It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
