I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
