U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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