Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
