what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
