I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
