He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
