I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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