I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
